Oftentimes, I find myself in a position of wanting to be a better daughter.
Perhaps my parents expect something from me. Despite not pressuring me with my studies, I know their silent expectations.
Growing up, I’ve always known I need to be the best. It is by achieving something that makes me feel fulfilled. It is the constant validation from others that makes me feel happy.
As I stepped into my teenage hood, I realized that my life would be so much better if I wasn’t an achiever since the beginning.. since I was just a kid.
I remember receiving a medal when I was just a child and hearing people applaud. Words of affirmations surrounding me.. That’s when I knew, I need to be the best.
I need to do well in this lifetime because everyone is expecting me. Because everyone knows I’m the older daughter.
I was their only hope in this life full of uncertainty. I was the “blessing” God gave them.
Little did they know, it made me grow up faster than I needed to. It made me more mature than i wanted to. It made me sad. It made me lonely.
-A.L ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚
