I had many friends growing up. It was always clear to me that I could make good acquaintances with other people. I was always shy, but it didn’t stop me from having good friends. Mostly because I was easy to get along with or maybe because I do too much to impress them.
You see — I became a people pleaser when I thought I needed to work hard to get the friendship I wanted. I became their servant and helper in times of need, for I thought if I didn’t do it — they would leave me, and I would be alone.
This habit changed when I found the right circle of friends in middle school. They didn’t forsake me nor made me do things I didn’t want. They loved me. They cared. They were happy when I’m happy. and above all, they always make sure I was fine.
We all had good times, and I had a lot of fun moments with them. But of course, friendship isn’t always perfect. We also had misunderstandings and problems. But at the end of the day, we resolve the situation and change for each other.
We have been friends for almost 2 years. Until — we weren’t. It was not right anymore. It was messy. It was toxic.
Funny how people tell you they’re going be with you forever — then leave you afterward. Without a proper goodbye. Without a proper reason.
I miss them. But as the sun rises again, I know it was for the better. Even if they’re no longer part of my life anymore — I will still cherish the friendship we’ve made and the lessons I get to carry every day.
-A.L ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚
