I looked up to my dad almost all my life. He serves as a daily reminder to me that I’m not alone. He was my crying shoulder and the one who cheered me up — How I wish he was still the same.
I was only ten when I found out that he cheated on my mom. A notification popped out when I was playing on his phone. It was a message saying how excited she was to see my dad. I was just a kid. I didn’t know what to do.
When you’re still naive and innocent, the bravest thing you can do is to stay silent. That’s why I stayed quiet while blaming myself for it.
For so long, I blamed myself for my father’s ignorant and selfish actions. I realize now that it’s not about my mom not being a "perfect wife.” It’s about his choices and his behavior. I refuse to carry that burden any longer.
Currently, my mother remains unaware of my father’s infidelity. The burden of silence weighs heavily on me. Balancing my desire to reveal the truth with the knowledge that my sister and mother rely on my father’s presence while I carry the weight of this undisclosed truth.
I have never touched his phone since that incident. I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself again for a mistake I never made. I became more distant, and we lost our closeness over time due to what I witnessed. I’m sure he still talks to other women. I can see it in his eyes that he’s not faithful. I can sense it in his face that he’s living an unloyal life.
I’m still out here faking a smile whenever he comes home from work — knowing that inside his fatherly figure lies a hidden truth. A truth that his eldest daughter only knows about.
Dad, how can I forgive you for the things you never apologized for?
-A.L ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚
