I grew up in a strict Catholic household. My parents even enrolled me in a Catholic school — where reciting the rosary every morning is required, and doing normal things such as putting on a light make-up is strictly forbidden. As you can see, I was sick of my religion since I was a kid.
I learned at a young age how dependable people are with God. I remember watching people at our local church put all their effort just to touch this one statue of Jesus; claiming that this will heal their sickness. My freedom of sleep was taken too, We would wake up early every Sunday just to go to church — and to be honest, I didn’t like the idea of waking up early just to listen to a boring sermon.
I didn’t understand the purpose of worshipping someone who isn’t even visible to the naked eye. I didn’t understand why people waste their time for someone who claims “He loves you” yet brings us so much suffering.
It was not until I was a teenager that I realized how much I needed Him. His peace. His presence. His love.
In the lowest days of my life, I found myself on bent knees, looking through the sky, asking for His guidance. I didn’t know the purpose of praying until I prayed deeply about my problems. I didn’t know the purpose of going to church until I needed a place to cry and beg. I didn’t know the purpose of faith until I needed to find a purpose to live. Until I needed to believe that everything was possible through Him.
"The Lord is my portion. Therefore, I will hope in Him." Lamentations 3:24
I know that God is real because He has revealed Himself through His creation, His word, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the knowledge that He is unchangeable, He is faithful, and He believes in me.
This process takes a lot of trial and error, I often do things that are against His will. I lose faith when things don’t come my way. I struggle between doing right and wrong.
I’ve done things that weigh me down but I know I don’t need to struggle alone. God will carry it with me.
With that, I saw His mercy and grace. Now, I have a clearer view of what life is.
“Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
-A.L ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚
